Let Me Back In
by ScarlettInkwell
Summary: Ziva was always the one who never thought she would see her child's first birthday, yet the one who was gone was not her. Now she is left to pick up the pieces after Abby's death, but what happens that turns an already precarious situation upside down?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hey this is my first NCIS fanfiction so I would love some feedback:) forgive me if the characters seem a little OOC. I tried to stay as true to character as I could under the circumstances of the story. Anyways, this is a little AU, since Jenny is alive. **

**_long live the queen._**

* * *

The bullpen was empty except for a lone figure sitting in front of a glowing screen, brushing her chestnut curls out of her eyes from time to time. It was far too early for most people to be in the Navy Yard already but she had never left, going by the dark shadows under her eyes. Burying her head in her left hand she swiped at the tear tracks marring her cheeks.

Her small frame heaved with a deep sigh as she pushed herself up, rubbing her eyes while a gym bag hung off one shoulder. Heading towards the women's changing rooms, she dragged her fingers through her hair and tried to chase the fatigue away.

Once she had changed out of the clothes she had worn the day before, she faced herself in the mirror. A hand shot up to finger the Magen David that rested in the hollow in her clavicle and the other began to gather her hair it its usual immaculate tightly bound ponytail.

Another sigh ripped its way out of her throat when she inspected the damage she had inflicted upon herself by not returning to the cold apartment she was supposed to call home. It was not home. It could not be without her Ahuvati.

Her fingers reached for the makeup bag hidden deep in the recesses of her bad and extracted it. Concealer went on expertly over the sunken cheeks and eye bags, a thicker layer of make up than usual to make up for her pallor and a slap to the face to snap herself out of the daze she was in.

"Ziva Aliyah David, what have you done to yourself?" she berated the sullen image in the mirror, "What has happened to the untouchable, unshakable Mossad assassin that was sent here but a few years ago? This is why Aba is ashamed of you." She spat the last sentence out bitterly, the name she had always use to address Eli David burning her tongue like an acrid poison.

When she had finally deemed herself presentable for the day, she absentmindedly grabbed at the gym bag lying on the sink and strode back toward her desk with no hint to the other people who had arrived what a mess she had been in earlier.

* * *

Her lips curved upward in a small smile, a fixture on her face to avert any unwanted attention. Setting herself down in her chair, she busied her hands and mind with the last piece of undone paperwork on her desk.

Over the past few years spent in America with NCIS, Ziva had gradually begun to let go of her flighty nature that came with being a Mossad officer who was always on the go.

She had settled a little, picking up piano again and filling her apartment with music that had become foreign in its lengthy absence. A voice that was usually tucked away and only unleashed as a weapon during undercover missions like that one time in Morocco was honed, gentle and lilting in warm melodies. Words that had come out wrong so often flowed smoothly in their poetic passage from fountain pen to parchment paper.

Those little mercies that her new job afforded her were her lonely, aching heart's solace. Her consolation prize in place of the one she could never lay claim to ever again.

As she etched out the last words on her report of their most recent case and shut the manila folder, she wrenched herself out of her chair once more. This report was to go directly to the Director's desk, Jenny had reminded her, especially since it had been such a sensitive case.

Internally Ziva snorted in chagrin as she recalled how much time she had spent in the lab over this case and what that had amounted to. This case had been the catalyst to her latest breakdown.

"Morning, Special Agent David." Cynthia's crisp tone broke through her reverie and brought her back to the task at hand. She had unconsciously made her way up the stairs and across the catwalk to the Director's office.

Giving a firm nod of acknowledgement to the assistant who had been a constant, even if only minor, fixture in the daily lives of all the people at NCIS, she pushed the door to Jenny Shepard's office open before anyone could stop her. It was unnaturally early to be at work for most of the agents who were more like Anthony DiNozzo, but Jenny had grown used to early hours from her time in Europe with Ziva.

"Jen, I have brought the report you asked for and-" The typically unflappable Ziva David stood stock still at the threshold of the office, staring with her mouth gaping and a million thoughts running through her already frazzled mind. In her honest defense, the situation she had walked in on was not one that many people would react well to.

* * *

"What is going on here, Director Shepard?" One cold, curt sentence that barely hid the flurry of emotions threatening to take over her body at once. The woman in question spun around with guilt shining in her emerald green eyes.

Seeing the ex-Mossad assassin in evident pain scared Jenny to the core. This was a side of Ziva that very few people ever saw and three of the people who had seen this side of her the most were currently all in the same room. Jenny cowered into the broad, strong embrace of the man behind her, seeking some comfort and escape from the gnawing guilt that had been eating away at her since she had gotten the news.

The steely blue glare of Leroy Jethro Gibbs stare softened as he witnessed the woman who had become his daughter over the time she had spent in NCIS with them crumble into the shell of the petrified nine year old desperate to obtain some semblance of acceptance from the heartless shadow of Eli David. Ziva was retreating into her old ways - falling back on her intimidating presence and sheer lethalness that had been moulded by the monster who was supposed to be her father.

"Ziva, please, let me explain-"

"Explain what, Gibbs? That the man who is the closest thing I have to a father and the woman who is my best friend and practically a mother to me have been hiding the linchpin to my happiness from me?" She rasped and inhaled sharply, "That they have been avoiding me because they are to afraid that they might let the rat out of the rag?"

She slammed a tightly balled fist into the nearest wall, hearing the crack of splitting plaster as she left a substantial dent in the wake of her punch.

Ziva slid down the door and curled in on herself, peering up at them with her brown eyes brimming with tears that had been left unshed for the past six months. A single tear broke through her walls and trickled down her cheek.

In the other corner of the room, a sob ripped through a raw throat at the sight of Ziva crying.

"Cat out of the bag, Zi." That whimsical childlike voice that was steeped in anguish inched through the office, tinny in Ziva's ears as she tried to come to terms with its presence.

"We couldn't tell you, Ziva. There was no way we could have told you without putting the three of you in danger." Jenny tried to reason.

Rocking back and forth on her heels, she held herself as she tried to make sense of it all. The woman she had loved so much, the woman she had proposed to but knew she could not marry yet, the woman she had been raising a family with - the woman who was supposed to be dead - was alive.

She could not simply let herself be happy over it, especially when she had walked in on Jenny and Gibbs sitting side by side with Abigail, drinking coffees and Caf-Pows like nothing had happened. That nothing was wrong.

What was she supposed to do? Welcome her back with open arms and forget about all the pain that her 'death' had put their children through? The anguish that she had to stave off so she could make sure they were staying alive?

* * *

Oh goodness, their children.

* * *

Talia Jennifer David was the spitting image of her Ima, having turned five exactly a week after her Mommy had supposedly died. Calev Jethro David looked much more like his Mommy and had gone through his second birthday with the news that his Mommy would never be coming home again.

The children still had not gotten over the blow, despite half a year already passing. Ziva had worked herself down to the bone to be able to juggle her work and the children alone with help from the team. McGee could not even look at Calev without having a cloud of grief mist over his eyes and Tony would crack dumb jokes just to try to cheer everyone up but it never worked. Jenny and Gibbs kept busy with their own child Caitlin but Ducky was ever the kind grandfather, willing to take the two of them off her hands as and when she needed some space.

* * *

Tali had begged Ziva to save her Mommy. She had pleaded, bargained, yelled and threatened. She had blamed Ziva for the better part of the six months and was now just being a difficult child. Clinging to his Ima had become Calev's comfort.

Though his older sister had been the cause of many of Ziva's recent injuries and miscellaneous cuts and bruises, Calev had simply never allowed Ziva out of his sight for very long. The children had been taken by Ducky last night since he had seen the toll that the case had taken on Ziva. He knew that however she would handle the emotions would not be conducive for the children or Ziva and that she had been holding herself together for their sake for far too long.

Three matching gasps were elicited from the others in the room, one far closer to her than she had expected. As she scrambled to pull down the sleeves of her jacket, she realized that Abigail was right next to her.

The long gray sleeves were swiftly turning to red as blood blossomed on them from the various barely healed gashes that she had covered up relentlessly for the past few months. Hands that were so familiar that she had never thought she would feel on her again suddenly gripped her bony wrists and gingerly peeled the jacket off her.

* * *

"I'm so sorry, Zi. So, so sorry." Abby repeated like a mantra as she took in the bloody arms of her fiancee, "I'm so sorry I made you resort to such coping mechanisms. I'm so sorry that I caused you all so much pain. I'm sorry, Zi. So sorry." Tears splattered onto the red, creating little puddles that stung but Ziva clenched her jaw and rode the pain out.

For the first time in six months she looked into Abigail's dark eyes. Lifting one hand, she gently wiped the tears off Abigail's porcelain features, her red and brown skin in stark contrast with the pale face. She hated it when she made Abigail cry.

All that pent up rage had been released and she slumped back against the door. For the first time in six months, Abigail held her tight. She heard her mother and father apologize profusely despite everything Gibbs had against apologies and she knew they had no choice. She understood.

* * *

She had her Abigail back at last.

* * *

"I don't care, Ziva, you are going to see Ducky to get him to check your arms out." And she really was back. All of her - the protectiveness and all. Gibbs was stalling the boys back in the bullpen and Jenny had gone to Ducky first to pick Tali and Calev up to join Caitlin. They were finally getting Abby back in their dysfunctional family, but not before Abby knew Ziva's arms had been taken care of. She had essentially caused the cuts and she would be damned if she left them to get infected.

Pushing Ziva through the doors of Autopsy, she heard the authoritative part of Ziva's voice creep through as she barked quickly, "Palmer, bullpen, now. Gibbs and Jenny are there with everyone else."

"Ziva, what are you doing here? Jennifer was just here to relieve me of those precious children of yours."

With that, Abby stepped from the shadows and showed him Ziva's arms. If he was surprised, he said nothing at all, only cleaning the cuts with surgical spirit and bandaging both arms. When it was all done, the trio trooped up to the bullpen, but Abby waited outside the elevator first.

She heard Gibbs and Jenny trying to ease the team into the revelation but something else caught her attention. The voice that she had tagged and logged in her brain as her daughter's hissed and snapped at someone, something that took Abby by surprise.

* * *

"No! Go away! I don't want you to touch my hair you meanie. You made Mommy go away and now there's no one to tie my hair and everything is your fault! I wish you were dead instead of her!" The harshness of the five year old's voice was punctuated by a thud that sent Abby rushing towards its source.

When she saw Ziva dazed on the floor with their daughter standing in front of her with her arms crossed and her eyes narrowed into a stare so much like her mother's, she ignored the fact that the team had not been told yet and stepped in.

Helping Ziva into her chair and settling her before Ducky took over to check her over, Abby took her older child aside.

"What was that, Talia Jennifer David?" Taking no heed of the stunned expression on her daughter's face, she continued, "Did your Ima and I never teach you to never lay a hand on someone that doesn't pose as a danger to you? How could you shout at her like that? How could you push your own mother, Tali?"

The anger that blazed in her daughter's green eyes muted to a smolder, the heated presence of defiance and betrayal. With her lower lip jutting out petulantly, Talia fought and inward battle before weakly protesting.

"But- But- But-"

"Tali, do you even know how much pain your Ima has been in these past six months? She is haggard, thin and hurt from trying to take care of two mourning children while having to mourn silently without letting you see it. For half a year she has been holding all that pain in so you could have a life that was more or less normal. Don't you remember what we told you happens when you hold in all your pain?"

"Eventually you have to let it out somehow and that usually ends with someone getting hurt."

"Yes, and this time, that person was Ima herself because she wanted to protect you two."

After a few moments, Calev dashed over to Ziva and wrapped his chubby arms around her legs. Slipping a tiny hand into her scarred and calloused one, he led her over to where the other half of their family was.

"I'm sorry, Ima." Tali choked out as her little brother clung to her. She felt the welcome warm embrace of both her parents around her and Calev and fat tears started to tumble down her cheeks.

"It is alright, tateleh." Ziva caressed her daughter's brown curls softly, "You are just a child, you did not know how to cope. It is alright."

Abby watched on with wonder as Ziva handled their daughter so well. Gone was the fiery Mossad assassin and in her place was a woman who was maternal and gentle, tender and forgiving. She braved a glance at the rest of the team who stood not two meters away from the young family.

They were shocked, to say the very least, and McGee actually looked a little bit mad at her. Ducky was so grandfatherly, smiling silently to himself while Palmer just seemed lost. And Tony? Well he was the first to welcome her with open arms, literally.

With each warm embrace came the itching, nagging guilt of causing her family so much pain. With each warm embrace came the constant reminder that she had hurt someone so much more than any of the rest combined. With each warm embrace came the repetitive reminder that they would have to deal with all the repercussions of this sooner or later.

"Abbs, you take your family home. No one is permitted to leave the rest until tomorrow at noon. You can come claim your lab back afterwards." With a throaty chuckle and a fleeting glance at the redhead perched on his table, Gibbs continued, "We never really got round to getting a permanent replacement anyway. The techs will be glad to have you back."

The dark haired woman picked her daughter up and swung her onto her back with practiced ease as she followed her fiancee and son to the elevator. A small smile appeared on her face - the first genuine one in a long time. Her eyes did not fully light up though.

Of course, it was not lost on Abby Scuito that Ziva had not uttered a single word directed at her since she had found out. She could only hope that she would be forgiven somehow and that they could possibly get what they had back. After all, Gibbs and Jenny got Paris back, even after all those years.

As her daughter tugged lightly on the one raven braid that trailed all the way down her back, Abby reached hesitantly for Ziva's idle hand. Though she was a very outgoing person, she had to admit that Ziva had every right to not want to touch her. She did not want to go too far and muck everything up before it even had a chance to begin again.

Thank goodness for small mercies, she thought as a soft sigh escaped her lips. Ziva's wiry hand slipped into hers, fitting like an adjoining puzzle piece in the well of her palm just as it always had.

A familiar yet surprisingly new jolt shot up her arm as their fingertips brushed against each other's. Abby had nearly drawn her hand back at the shock but Ziva held on, if only barely.

With young Calev perched on Ziva's slight but sturdy shoulders, the young family of four stepped out of the elevator and towards the cherry red Mini Cooper that Ziva had reverted back to using after Abby's supposed 'death'.

Once in the car, the children demanded that their Mommy sit between Calev's carseat and Tali's booster seat. Ziva bit her lip and set of calmly towards their apartment, the car cruising smoothly and slowly along. Hearing the children, well, Tali essentially, chatting so exuberantly with Abigail, she could not help but wonder what she did wrong.

How could Abigail have left such a void that she could not remotely try to fill for six months?

Why did Tali detest her so much?

Ziva pulled into the parking lot and unbuckled a dozing Calev from his carseat. He was just like Abigail in that respect - he could sleep anywhere, anytime. Laying the head full of short, soft raven hair on her shoulder, she felt Calev automatically bury his face in her neck as they headed to their home.

It would not be home again just yet, though.

There were repercussions to everything. They had to deal with the separation and lies sometime.

In the rational, Mossad and NCIS trained part of her mind, Ziva knew fully well that Abigail was justified and very correct in the way she had handled the situation. It was the best way to keep everyone safe and alive. Yet in the not so rational part of it, the part where she was a mother, lover, daughter, sister and partner first, she felt completely and utterly betrayed.

* * *

The children had been tired out with all the events that had unfolded that day. With the customary 'laila tov' from their Ima and a much missed hug and kiss from Abby, they were tucked into bed. Calev had pushed Ziva out of the chair next to his bed in favor of Abby reading him a bedtime story and Tali only accepted the kiss and hug from her Mommy.

With Abigail in Calev's room down the hall reading the last few lines of Goodnight Moon and Talia already asleep, Ziva leaned back on the couch and scrubbed her hands over her face in an attempt to make sense of the entire situation.

* * *

Abby's heart broke as she saw Ziva's prone form slumped on the couch, her head in her hands. This was not the Ziva who had changed so much from the time they first met to the birth of each of their children. She was...

Broken.

Confused.

And this was all Abby's doing. She had taken the matter too far and he came after her. In the process, she made Ziva think she had failed yet again. That she had not been able to protect another family member - especially after her mother, Ari, her sister Tali and so many of her Mossad comrades.

She had to fix this.

And she had to face the man who was threatening the lives of her family and her.

* * *

_Thanks for reading and I hope to get the next chapter up soon but school is crazy so it might be a challenge. R&R please:)_

_ani ohevet otach,_

**_Scarlett_**


	2. Chapter 2

There were no words exchanged at first, just a slim body that slid down next to her on the couch. As if none of the past six months had ever happened, their bodies fit into each others' perfectly once again. Abby hesitantly raised her arm to pull Ziva closer to her, but stopped short in her action as the shrill sound of their home phone ringing. Ziva leapt up and went to answer it before the piercing noise could wake their sleeping children.

Sitting alone on the couch suddenly left Abby feeling empty, a feeling she had become intimately acquainted with since she had 'died'. The sound of the phone ringing had dug up memories of that last phone call. Memories that Abby wanted to keep buried deep in the recesses of her mind where she would never find them again.

* * *

The landline rang out into the sleepy house. Ziva was still at the Navy Yard, helping Gibbs out with some paperwork that had cropped up over the case they had just closed. Apparently, SecNav did not take too nicely to a Mossad officer on loan to the US Navy dropping dead right in NCIS jurisdiction. Especially if one of the agents on the case happened to be the daughter of the director of Mossad. Conflict of interest, he said.

Abby had put the children to bed that night. Little did she know, that would be the last time she could do it for another six months. Calev had just fallen asleep after yet another reading of Goodnight Moon and Tali had already been taken away by the sandman.

She had just finished locking up the windows and doors downstairs when the phone started ringing. When she picked up, the coldest voice she had ever heard crept across the line from countries away that made her gasp and collapse onto the chair nearby.

"Miss Scuito, I believe you know who I am, yes?" The heavily accented voice stated calmly as Abby tried not to whimper audibly, "I also believe you know why I am calling. It seems you have... corrupted a particular extremely important asset of mine. Did you really think you would get away with it?"

The voice on the other side of the connection scoffed, then continued on its rampage, "I have to admit, nevertheless, that the children are quite beautiful. Talia, though, what an unfortunate name and legacy to be saddled with."

Abby swallowed the lump in her throat. How in the world did he know? They had done everything they could to keep news of their relationship, and later, their children, away from that man.

"What do you want, Director?" Her voice was steely to mask the suffocating fear rising up like putrid bile in her throat.

Suddenly she was hyperaware of Tali's bed creaking slightly. She would need a new one soon. Gibbs would build it for her again, no doubt. Calev's sniffling tugged at the back of her mind. Maybe he was coming down with the flu.

"Why, Ms. Scuito, I was waiting for you to ask me that. You see, you have brought shame upon the Davids with your actions. You are insufferable, you know? Despite all the men I have sent there to stop this blasphemy in its tracks, you have managed to sink your claws in so deep that she will not let go."

The silence over the line allowed the words to sink in slowly. Abby gripped the phone more tightly, awaiting the next line with bated breath.

"Well, you have forced my hand. You have four days, Abigail. Four days to remove yourself from Ziva's life permanently. You are not to have any personal relationship with her or the children any longer. Usually I would let you have the boy, since he is biologically yours, but he will serve Mossad well in future. A replacement for Ari, you could say."

The image of her son, her son with his bright green eyes full of an innocence Ziva envied, being trained and moulded into a soldier for Mossad and a mole in Hamas sprung into her mind. No! She could never let him go through that. Their team knew all to well what would happen to someone like that.

"I believe you understand the implications your actions will bring, no? Unless you leave, permanently, your daughter will be sold to the highest international bidder to do with as they please. Your darling son will become my newest Hamas-Mossad mole and Zivaleh will return to Kidon. I have a very dangerous mission waiting for her on my desk. Mark my words, Miss Scuito. I will exact them as I see fit."

There was a click and Abby's hand trembled as she put the phone back into its cradle.

She had to disappear, or else her family would suffer.

But how? How could she do that and keep Ziva from pursuing her? There was no way Ziva would let her go. Not as long as there was the faintest possibility of her being alive.

That was it! She would have to fake her death. She could. After all, she could make all the forensic factors fall together perfectly.

Picking up the burner phone that Ziva had insisted she have, she ran her fingers over the taser that she kept together with it in a chest. She dialed a number that was so familiar to her by now.

"Gibbs." The gruff voice of her father figure sounded over the phone, sparking off soft crackling on the cheap phone. Caitlin's tinkling laughter could be heard somewhere in the background along with Jenny's warm, throaty chuckle and half a smile wormed its way onto Abby's stoic face.

"It's me. You cannot tell Ziva I called you, okay? I need your help. Yours, and Jenny's I guess."

"What is it, Abbs? Why can't you let Ziva in on this?"

"I need to die, Gibbs. Like, convincingly fake-die. Convincingly enough to fool Eli David-die."

The closest thing to a gasp that Gibbs would ever let out pierced the air over the phone and she heard him padding away from his daughter and wife.

"You're gonna explain this sooner or later, but first things first. He give you a deadline?"

"Four days." she choked out. In four days, her life here would no longer exist.

"I'm guessing Ziva's gotta think you're dead." Gibbs sighed over the phone and she could practically hear him Gibbs-glaring at her. "Do you know what this is going to do to her, Abbs?"

Abby bit back a sob as she opened her mouth to protest weakly, but the unmistakable sound, or lack thereof, of Ziva turning the doorknob of the main door caught her attention.

"Gibbs, she's back. I'll meet you tomorrow morning to arrange the whole thing. Jenny too?"

Swallowing, she forced her expression back to a neutral state.

* * *

"G'night, Dad. Say goodnight to Mom for me. Cait too."

The last allusion to a long-running inside joke with the team brought a small smile back to her face as she went to greet her partner.

"Ziva!" she whisper-yelled as the Israeli belle came into sight. Abby launched herself into Ziva's open arms and held on tight. They shared a sweet kiss and Ziva placed a warm hand on the small of Abby's back and guided her up to their bedroom. That night, she had spent the hours laying in Ziva's arms, trying to convince herself that it had all just been a dream.

For the first time since Abby had moved in with Ziva, she woke up before the Israeli had taken off for her morning run. Gingerly she got out of their bed, trying not to wake the snoring woman.

"I'm sorry I have to do this, Zi. So sorry."

Scribbling in her loopy script on a post it that she was meeting Gibbs, Abby fled the house before her children or partner awoke to see her leave. She would never be able to actually plan out the entire operation if she had to face them beforehand.

* * *

"Morning Gibbs, morning Jenny." There was none of her usual effervescence or exuberance in the customary greeting, just tired resignation that weighed her words down.

"Explain yourself, Abbs. Now." Gibbs gulped at his coffee and slammed a Caf-Pow down in front of the raven-haired woman.

"Eli called. He said that if... if I did not disappear from their lives in four days, Ziva would return to Kidon on a suicide mission, Tali will be sold to the highest international bidder and Calev will be trained into Ari's replacement."

For a moment, the only sounds in the old Shepard mansion were the sounds of Abby's gasping breaths and Jenny's quiet murmurs to Caitlin in the young girl's upstairs bedroom.

"You sure about this, Abbs?"

Just as Abby was about to protest that she did not have any other options, Jenny cut in.

"Face it, Jethro. She has no other feasible choice."

* * *

"Alright then, so how do you want to do this?"

* * *

_**A/N: sorry for the long wait for this chapter. Life has been kind of nuts lately. I sat shiva for three people in the past two months. I will try to get the next chapter up ASAP. R&R please?**_


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey I'm really, really sorry for the long delay. I guess my muse got caught up in other things. I hope you like this chapter but it might be a little sparse. I think writing this short little chapter actually caused me some physical pain._

_Thanks for all your patience:) Love you guys!_

_R&R please._

_x Scar_

* * *

**Let Me Back In**

**Chapter 3**

Ziva pushed the door open slightly. The house was empty, she could tell by the chill in the air that had disappeared the first day Abby set foot in the house.

Billy Joel's New York State of Mind ran like a vein through the empty halls and hollow rooms, setting a melancholy tone.

The air crackled in tension as the high notes rang brassily like a trumpet playing a fanfare.

Where were Abby and the children?

* * *

It was already dark out; Abby had stopped spending late nights at the Navy Yard once they had had their kids.

Ziva had been held back by paperwork and the loose ends of a case they had finally wrapped up.

It was well after ten at night. Two hours past Calev's bedtime and an hour past Tali's.

* * *

Something was horribly wrong.

* * *

She dropped the backpack she always carried to work by the door and rushed to the children's rooms.

This was one time she was desperate for her gut to have been wrong.

A violet walled room with a deep red single bed that was untouched.

A bright yellow room that contained the trademark mess that little whirlwind boys tended to make.

But there was no sign of the children in the house.

No sign of her wife.

Ziva stumbled, flustered back toward the living room.

Running a trembling hand through her unruly brown curls, she picked up the home phone from its cradle.

She hurriedly punched in a number she knew so well, pacing back and forth.

Somewhere in the process of waiting for Gibbs to answer his cell, she had wandered over to her baby grand piano.

Pulling her hand from her hair, she ran a finger over the ivory keys.

* * *

She could just see Abby playing jazz on it back when their relationship was relatively new. Abby had wanted so much to show her the New Orleans culture that made her who she was.

She envisioned the slight, wiry figure of her daughter tinkling out Beethoven and Chopin, Dvorak and Rachmaninov. Tali had watched her mothers play to her for years before she finally began to beg for piano lessons, along with a younger sibling.

She could imagine Calev straining to reach the keys with his tiny fingers, trying desperately to play like the rest of the family.

With her free hand, she began to press on the keys in a familiar rapid chord progression.

"_**She can kill with a smile,  
She can wound with her eyes  
She can ruin your fate with her casual lies  
And she only reveals what she wants you to see.**_

_**She hides like a child but she's  
Always a woman to me**_."

* * *

"Ziver!" The voice over the phone barked out, "Did you call me to tell me something or just sing a sappy song?"

Thank Adonai he answered.

"Gibbs," Her voice broke off at the second 'b' in his last name, "They are all gone."

The man over at the other end of the line grimaced, looking at the three children in the NCIS bullpen with him and his wife.

This was something he never wanted to tell anyone, let alone one of his own.

Especially when he knew full well that the spouse in question was not really dead.

* * *

"Ziver, I was about to call you." He sighed heavily, "Tali and Calev are here."

There was nothing but a silence wrought with tension between the two.

"There was a body found. You need to come down here. Now."

A few seconds later, just as both the parties had finally registered what had just been said over the phone, he broke the silence once more.

"I'm so sorry, Ziver."

Her children were safe. Good.

But her wife was dead.

She had given so many families and spouses this piece of news before.

She had seen the distraught faces of those left behind.

She had never fully accepted that it was at all likely that she would have the tables turned on her one day.

* * *

A wail permeated the thick air in the apartment, cutting through the strains of Norah Jones' jazzy voice crooning Love Me Tender.

It was one of Abby's records.

Her favorite, in fact.

"Abby! Why, Abigail? Why would you leave me behind to raise them alone?"

She had crumpled onto the floor in a sobbing mess, pounding her clenched fists on the plaster of the wall beside her.

"You said we would have forever. Till the end of time, remember, Abigail?"

The throw pillow that Abby had curled up with on the couch next to her so often was grabbed and flung at the record spinning.

"I was the one who was never supposed to see thirty. The one who was never supposed to have children and see them grow up. Not you!"

She hugged her knees to her body tightly, curled up as she had when she had first found out about Tali's death so many years ago.

"Come back, ahuvati. Come back to me.""

* * *

The wail of a person who had just lost the person who was their whole world was familiar to Gibbs.

He could hear it across town.

He knew that Ziva would be a mess.

Especially since Ziva and Abby were like Johnny and June.

The children did not need to see that.

He met Jen's glistening emerald eyes with ice blue ones that were melting.

There were tears running down her alabaster cheeks already.

Silently he asked her to get Cynthia to bring the children up to Jenny's office.

Ziva needed to grieve in peace, without her children seeing her fall to pieces.

There was no way Ziva would fall apart in front of her children. She would stay steeled for them.

She would keep everything bottled up.

Then it would build and build and then she would explode.

* * *

"I can't bear to do this to her, Jethro."

"Neither can I, Jen. Neither can I."

"But we have to ensure that they even have a shot of getting back together after this all blows over. Eli will stop at nothing. We both know that."

He held his wife's thin frame to him tightly, thankful it was not him who had to go through this this time.

* * *

That shooting in the diner had been enough.

* * *

The elevator doors slipped open and the shuddering form of Ziva David stepped out shakily.

Thankfully, the children were already upstairs.

He opened his arms to the woman who had become his daughter the moment she had shot her own brother to save him.

* * *

She had been a slip of a girl then. He had seen her blossom into a young woman.

A young woman with a broken heart to go with her broken family.

* * *

Holding what was left of his girls that he could hold tight to him, he allowed the first tears to make their way down his worn cheeks.  
Feeling the relief of Ziva's head leaving his chest, he looked at her questioningly.

Her voice came out broken, shattered and weak.

"What happened, Papa?" He sucked in a breath. She only ever called him that when times were really bad, "How could she have died?"

"Robbery, it seems. She protected the children to her last breath, though."

He had to alleviate at least some of the pain that this was causing her.

"Ziver, look at me." He lifted her chin with his finger, "There was nothing you could have done. You had a job and you were doing it. You weren't to know this would happen."

"Did she die in pain?"

Her voice was slightly steadier, but still quivered on the last word.

"One shot to the back of the head. She never felt a thing."

Jenny buried her head further into Jethro's chest as she spoke.

"The children?"

"Not hurt. They did not see a thing."

"I should have gone home with her. I should have been there. I should have taken them all home instead of staying here doing pointless paperwork. I could have saved her. I could have made sure my children still had their mother. Oh Adonai, I am going to ruin their lives without her here."

Ziva pulled away, dashing towards the bathroom down the hall.

* * *

"Jethro, please. There has to be another way."

He kissed his wife softly on the lips, holding her close and thanking god above that she was here with him.

"I'm sorry Jen, there is no other way. We tried."

He coughed tiredly, "We have to keep them all safe."

* * *

_A/N: Hey sorry for the long wait and short chapter. I think the thing about writing is that my muse is fickle. _

_A fickle, fickle, sick little thing that enjoys making me suffer. _

_But here it is, even if it is a little (read a lot) late. _

_I hope you guys like it. Thanks a lot to all those who stick around and bother to take a little bit of time out of all of our crazy lives and reviewed. _

_I love you all:)_

_I will try to update soon. The internet in my room is utter crap though._

_x_

_Scar_


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